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Prayer Post for the Week of September 3rd – God + Submission = Trust

September 3, 2012

I’ve been a Christian my whole life.  I don’t remember a time when I didn’t believe in the Lord.  College was hard on my faith, but I still loved the Lord, just not enough to “practice” my faith.  I got married young, two weeks before my 21st birthday.  I specifically asked that the line about me submitting be removed from my otherwise traditional vows.  God has a sense of humor.

At our wedding we had two pastors perform the ceremony.  First the pastor of the church my mom and sister attended, and where we held the wedding and second, a close family friend, who had pastored with my dad and was the pastor who baptized me.  He came in the day before the wedding and I assumed the first pastor would explain to the second how “I” wanted my vows.  God bless that man, he didn’t get the memo.  On the wedding video you actually see me pause and almost stumble over the word “obey.”  You know the table interviews that wedding videographers are so fond of?  Yes, mine actually took video of some of our college friends teasing me about saying “obey.”  We weren’t off to a good start.  I’ve never submitted well.

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.  Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.”  James 4:17 & 18

In an effort to be completely honest and transparent, after almost 19 years of marriage I still fail miserably at being submissive.  I don’t mind asking for help but don’t try to tell me how to do something, and don’t try to stop me from getting my way.  Going into my marriage, I was a complete “control freak!”  Seriously, my husband should be named a saint for having stayed with me.  Oh, but there is the Lord in that as well.  God planned for me to marry the perfect man, the man who would challenge me the most, not by yelling and forcefully taking the leadership role.  No, I married the man who quietly waited on me to stop being a total idiot.  This man forgave me my faults when I didn’t even ask for forgiveness, I was too proud for that.   My husband was the peacemaker.

After 19 years of marriage and two children later, God is still working, pealing back the layers of my heart.  The Lord continues to lovingly call me to greater understanding in this area of submitting.  First things first, I have to submit to God every area of my life.  I don’t get to hold on to anything.  Every day I have to intentionally give Him my husband, my children, my life.  But here is the thing, the enemy tries to steal, kill, and destroy.  Satan wants the act of submitting to be ugly, twisted into something that the world hates.  I would like to submit to you that when God calls us to submit, he is calling us to trust.

God + Submission = Trusting

You see the act of submission is the act of putting your faith in God.  It’s declaring to the world that you trust the Lord more than you trust your circumstances.  I would like to go a step further and suggest that every time I do not submit to my husband, I actually take a stand between him and God.  I block what God is trying to do in my husband.  I have to trust the Lord to do the work.  I’m not supposed to do it.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 58:8 & 9

Whatever my plan is for my husband, whatever I think best pales in comparison to what God has for him.  God created man to be the head of the household and Christ to be the head of every man.

“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. ” 1 Cor 11:3

By my lack of trusting and submitting to my husband I cut off the line, the very connection between my husband and God.  Wives, we cannot do this!  We must submit to God and to our husbands!  I know you want what is best for your family.  I know God hears your cries and your desires for your family.  You have to move.  You have to take the stance of submitting.

“Submit yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Come near to God and he will come near to you.”  James 3:7 & 8

This is a truth the enemy does not want you to know!  When we submit to God and His perfect plan for us we are actually resisting the devil and by God’s Word he has to flee!!!  Yes, Lord!  I for one am going to send the enemy packing!  I will not be blinded by the world’s perception of submission.  I will confess God is in control and I will get out of his way.

Dearest Father,

I’m so thankful that my ways are not your ways. You have chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise and the weak things of the world to shame the strong. Your ways are perfect.

Father, I ask you to cleanse me from my foolish ways of thinking about submitting.  I have been wrong and I have stood in your way.  Please forgive me.

Help me Lord to respond to my husband submissively and reverently allowing you to work in both of our lives.

In Jesus’ Name,


4 Comments leave one →
  1. September 3, 2012 7:28 am

    Hey Girl.. even after 26 yrs of marriage ,submission is something I have to remind myself of 😉 thanks for reminding me today..
    God Bless.

  2. Serena Abdelaziz permalink
    September 3, 2012 1:08 pm

    Thank you for being so transparent!

  3. Jenn permalink
    September 6, 2012 6:57 pm

    Submission is not something I find easy either. I was raised to not trust men at all. They were deceivers and would hurt you and leave (and never failed at either of those). My husband of 10 yrs now has had his work cut out for him with me. I still see submission as not being allowed to take care of myself or have any say so in my own life (kind of like a slave) and rolling over and allowing someone to do whatever they want to me no matter what I think or how it makes me feel. I basically see it as becoming a doormat. I know my husband would never do anything to hurt me either emotionally or physically but it is still very difficult. Just the thought of it makes me think that I am giving up every part of who I am and letting him decide what is best for me no matter how I feel about it or what the outcome for me will be (I always feel as though “how could my husband possibly know what is best for me”). What made it harder was that my husband was in the Marines for 13 yrs and spent 3 of our first 4 years of marriage (he was gone for a total of 4 1/2 yrs of the first 8 yrs) in Iraq or training to go to Iraq, so when he came home and wanted to jump right back into the “head of household” role it was very difficult because that was my job while he was gone (which was more often than he was home) and he always immediately tried to change how we did things, I have always been very independent and do not like to ask for help in any way shape or form (mostly from my husband–I do ask my friends for help regularly) which makes raising 4 kids rough from time to time. I just wish I could see submission as something other than something that makes my opinion of no value, like something that makes me less than a person. No matter how many times my husband tells me it is a partnership and that we have to build our family together, I still feel like submission is a dirty word, a punishment for being born a girl.

    • Daja permalink*
      September 7, 2012 8:58 am

      Perhaps Kristina will have some thoughts to add when she has a chance. Thought I’d just pipe in a bit. I recently heard a very interesting sermon on the subject of headship. The pastor shared how we have the idea of headship really wrong sometimes and because of that those in authority and those under authority struggle.

      God is the head of Christ. What does God have that Christ didn’t? Nothing. Jesus said, “The Father and I are one.” Christ is the head of man. What can Christ do that man cannot? Nothing. Jesus said, “Greater works will you do” and “All authority has been given….” If we continue that the husband is the head of the wife, then headship is not about control, but empowerment.

      He went on to explain how “head” in this passage isn’t synonymous with “boss”, it’s better translated “source.” Like the headwaters of a river is what feeds the river and is the river’s source for power. In the same way, my husband’s role is to empower me to be all that I can be according to the gifts God has given me. My submission is my responsibility so that I can tap into the abundance that God has for me.

      I hope that makes sense.

      May God bless you, Jenn, as you wrestle with these things. It’s OK to question and to wrestle. Jacob wrestled with the angel and got his blessing. We can also wrestle with things “too mighty” for us and come out into blessing.


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